One Choice Away from...

One of my favorite quotes from my pastor, Dr. Johnny Hunt, is that we are all just one choice away from stupid. I love this! Now, my boys will correct me anytime I use the "stu***" word, but what else describes what I do? I KNOW better, I KNOW what the consequences will be, I KNOW how my choices will hurt the people whom I love and who love me, and yet...as Paul says...what I long to do, I don't and what I want to flee from, I run to (my paraphrase).

All my closest friends know that I have been in a season of healing, recovery and restoration. God presented the opportunity to come face-to-face with some life-dominating issues and truly brought salvation to me, to my marriage and family, and to the hope that I have in Him. We started this particular journey in August of 2006. We are now approaching the end of this chapter. We will officially end our season of restoration on June 22 - some 23 months later. As we approach the end of this season, there are as many unknowns and questions now as there were at the beginning, but there is a difference. We are living life more authentically, more honestly and more open with our Lord, with family and with friends. No secrets, no regrets. I am by no means "fixed" but I am more equipped to walk in light and health.

One of my favorite songs during this journey is "East to West" by Casting Crowns. There are days when I feel bound to fall and don't "feel" a change. Then there are days when I walk in connection with God and with others.

Be encourgaed by these words:
"East To West"

Here I am, Lord, and I'm drowning in your sea of forgetfulness
The chains of yesterday surround me
I yearn for peace and rest
I don't want to end up where You found me
And it echoes in my mind, keeps me awake tonight
I know You've cast my sin as far as the east is from the west
And I stand before You now as though I've never sinned
But today I feel like I'm just one mistake away from You leaving me this way

Jesus, can You show me just how far the east is from the west
'cause I can't bear to see the man I've been come rising up in me again
In the arms of Your mercy I find rest
'cause You know just how far the east is from the west
From one scarred hand to the other

I start the day, the war begins, endless reminding of my sin
Time and time again Your truth is drowned out by the storm I'm in
Today I feel like I'm just one mistake away from You leaving me this way

I know You've washed me white, turned my darkness into light
I need Your peace to get me through, to get me through this night
I can't live by what I feel, but by the truth Your word reveals
I'm not holding on to You, but You're holding on to meYou're holding on to me

Jesus, You know just how far the east is from the west
I don't have to see the man I've been come rising up in me again
In the arms of Your mercy I find rest
'cause You know just how far the east is from the west
From one scarred hand to the other
One scarred hand to the other
From one scarred hand to the other